My room is big, my bags mostly unpacked, my bed comfortable, my room cool. I am in Kansas City now. I live here...weird. The weather is the most uncomfortable climate I've ever encountered- it's like breathing underwater. But for now it's home, and one of my favorite things is shutting off my GPS and letting myself get lost...no better way to learn your way around than to drive in circles!
I got here with the help of my dear friend Rachelle...I could not have done it without her! We had so much fun while she was here!! She is such a joy to be around- and man did we laugh...that girl has jokes! I dropped her off at the airport yesterday and today was my first day solo. Not to shabby- very little conversation since right now the only time I really have the chance to talk is when I'm at work. Then I come home to myself! That's ok :) I figure it can be a good thing for awhile. Plus slowly my roommates are filing in! I'm sure we will have fun getting to know each other- a bunch of girls far from all their favorite familiar faces-shouldn't be to hard to get some conversation started!
Still I know this is my time to go low- I know loneliness may not always be the answer and God gives us friends- but part of me wants this quiet season. No one to answer to, nothing to do...what I do with my time and where I place my affections is up to me and I have a blank slate. My hope is to fill this page wisely :)
I hear Jesus speak to me. I have had a few things on my heart lately. Tonight at service I recieved prayer. It was good and I can tell there were things broken off. In worship I asked the Lord for more and then quickly retracted that request...selfish Ashley. Silly girl. But that's not what Jesus said, quickly He reminded me about being a child, kids never think they've had to much of their Dad. "You can always ask for more, with Me there's always enough". Relief! Smack down on that mindset Leir...get more! There is more of Jesus to know...that's all I can think about.
"that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him" Eph. 1:17
I'm stuck at the limits of my understanding. He has to be the one to do it...I can only conceive so much love, so much grace, so much greatness and holiness. But if He breathes it upon me I will know Him more. GAH! Only to taste and see, to fellowship with Him constantly. To go deeper into Him...I long for my heart to be transformed by Him. I don't want to do life without Him. I don't want to do only evenings with Him, I want my days filled with the knowledge of Jesus. Some will say knowledge puffs up...yeaaah it does. But not this kind, not the knowledge of God. Paul said he desired to KNOW nothing BUT Christ and Him crucified! Who cares what you know as long as you know Jesus right????? RIGHT!
The world will debate over this Man, our minds will swirl with thoughts of Him, some right some not so right. But I am not discouraged! Not anymore anyways. I am encouraged! "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence" 1 Peter 1:3 (someone gave me that scripture in one of my cards and I was SO thankful for it!) He will give me all I need to live a life of godliness, plus, He'll make sure I have food and toilet paper! Praise God for that too! Jesus has put into my heart Matthew 16:13-20...His big question to us "But who do YOU say that I am?" The revelation of Jesus Christ as the Son of the Living God is given directly from the Father. And once you have that revelation the gates of hell (try hard as they may) CANNOT prevail against it! So as debates persist about the Person of Jesus, be not discouraged- I mean don't shut off someone's opinion because it challenges your way of thinking. They may be right...they may not-who knows! One thing is for sure. He loves us. He will guide us and give us all things pertaining to life and godliness. Flesh and blood doesn't reveal Jesus but the Father who is in heaven, and when He gives us something...nothing can take it away!
Be encouraged by His grace, and if there's nothing else you know to pray right now why not try "Give me a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of You."
Love love love love you guys!!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Mary of Bethany
Today was a lazy day...my first FULL day off in over a week. To say it was appreciated would be a slight understatement. However I watched to much T.V.- you know that feeling of lethargy that sweeps your mind, your body,even your tummy. I hate that feeling, even if you tried to get up and be productive it is to late; laziness has taken over, your eyes are heavy, and your curling iron won't be of any help...not today.
Trying to shake this feeling of blah-ness, I put on my sweats, threw on some blush and mascara so as to not scare the people on the "outside" and headed over to Roasters for some coffee, granted it was past three o' clock, quite a late start for coffee- it was a start nontheless. My bible, my ipod, and myself set up shop on the couch to see if we might get some Jesus today. He is much needed, and only He can refresh a lethargic soul. Where to begin? I sat quiet no music playing, shifting back and forth to find a posture of comfort... no idea where to start (it's Jesus this should be easy) but lately He seems to be located more closer to the moon than on my skin if you catch my drift. A thought comes to mind, "Mary of Bethany..." says the wind between my ears. Oookay - I think we've got an angle here.
What comes to mind when first thinking of Mary of Bethany? My first thought: She was a feet sitter. The one who sat...at His feet. So I read about her, I found her in Luke and again in John. She was a great woman...what great understanding she carried with her. She knew something about Jesus most didn't. Thats what provoked her to sit as Martha busied herself with dinner. Thats what seduced her to waste a years wages of costly oil on His feet...wiping them with her hair and tears and oil. She knew this man...something about Him. And it caused her to sit, and to spill, and to love Him.
I want to be like Mary of Bethany. Now I know this is supposed to be an "inspirational blog" so I should be wrapping this up with something inspiring to say. But all I've got is this feeling like, "Man, I'm the furthest thing from Mary". What did she know? Jesus said Mary had it DOWN... not quite in those words He said it more like, "...one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:42) What was the one thing? For a quick recap: Jesus comes over for some dinner or something...and Martha is in the kitchen getting it all ready, she hurries and throws the dishes in the clay sink, turns over the fish, slices some honeycomb, sets the table, and in the midst realizes "Waaait a second. MARY! Get your toosh over here, I am not about to do this all by my self!" seeing that Mary can clearly give two rips she rushes into the living room, only to find Jesus sitting on the chair telling stories-and Mary... laaaazy Mary sitting infront of Him near his feet looking up. "Jesus!" chimes Martha, "would you tell Mary to do something!?" Jesus looks up, kindly but honestly, "Martha. Martha," ouch...He said it twice. "...One thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken from her." I don't know how Martha took it, hopefully she popped a squat.
All I know is I don't sit at feet very well. I am not quite sure why, why it's so hard to sit down, and listen...ask some questions, hear some stories, enjoy His company. Its the ONLY thing that will last. For those of us with the Martha hat on its a hard pill to swallow. But think about it, the meal will only last for no more than an hour. Jesus says at the end of the age He will come again, as people filter into the gates of glory some get shut out. Dazed and confused they ask, "UMM LORD? We cast out demons together remember? You taught in our temples...we prophesied in Your name. Isn't that a ticket in?" What's His reply? "Depart from me, I never KNEW you". One thing. One thing. It just so happens to be the worst thing I do, that one thing. But dang, I have to learn how. I have to find His value...He has to be my prize - I have to know that I am His as well.
Can I just say one last thing. I am relieved at His goodness, all that is necessary is that I sit at His feet? You know, that one thing alone sets Him so far apart from every other god. That He cares to tell me stories, to hear my dreams, to catch my tears, to make me laugh, to give me love...truly there is no one like Him.
I leave you with this, "...for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything." 1 John 3:20
phew.
Trying to shake this feeling of blah-ness, I put on my sweats, threw on some blush and mascara so as to not scare the people on the "outside" and headed over to Roasters for some coffee, granted it was past three o' clock, quite a late start for coffee- it was a start nontheless. My bible, my ipod, and myself set up shop on the couch to see if we might get some Jesus today. He is much needed, and only He can refresh a lethargic soul. Where to begin? I sat quiet no music playing, shifting back and forth to find a posture of comfort... no idea where to start (it's Jesus this should be easy) but lately He seems to be located more closer to the moon than on my skin if you catch my drift. A thought comes to mind, "Mary of Bethany..." says the wind between my ears. Oookay - I think we've got an angle here.
What comes to mind when first thinking of Mary of Bethany? My first thought: She was a feet sitter. The one who sat...at His feet. So I read about her, I found her in Luke and again in John. She was a great woman...what great understanding she carried with her. She knew something about Jesus most didn't. Thats what provoked her to sit as Martha busied herself with dinner. Thats what seduced her to waste a years wages of costly oil on His feet...wiping them with her hair and tears and oil. She knew this man...something about Him. And it caused her to sit, and to spill, and to love Him.
I want to be like Mary of Bethany. Now I know this is supposed to be an "inspirational blog" so I should be wrapping this up with something inspiring to say. But all I've got is this feeling like, "Man, I'm the furthest thing from Mary". What did she know? Jesus said Mary had it DOWN... not quite in those words He said it more like, "...one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:42) What was the one thing? For a quick recap: Jesus comes over for some dinner or something...and Martha is in the kitchen getting it all ready, she hurries and throws the dishes in the clay sink, turns over the fish, slices some honeycomb, sets the table, and in the midst realizes "Waaait a second. MARY! Get your toosh over here, I am not about to do this all by my self!" seeing that Mary can clearly give two rips she rushes into the living room, only to find Jesus sitting on the chair telling stories-and Mary... laaaazy Mary sitting infront of Him near his feet looking up. "Jesus!" chimes Martha, "would you tell Mary to do something!?" Jesus looks up, kindly but honestly, "Martha. Martha," ouch...He said it twice. "...One thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken from her." I don't know how Martha took it, hopefully she popped a squat.
All I know is I don't sit at feet very well. I am not quite sure why, why it's so hard to sit down, and listen...ask some questions, hear some stories, enjoy His company. Its the ONLY thing that will last. For those of us with the Martha hat on its a hard pill to swallow. But think about it, the meal will only last for no more than an hour. Jesus says at the end of the age He will come again, as people filter into the gates of glory some get shut out. Dazed and confused they ask, "UMM LORD? We cast out demons together remember? You taught in our temples...we prophesied in Your name. Isn't that a ticket in?" What's His reply? "Depart from me, I never KNEW you". One thing. One thing. It just so happens to be the worst thing I do, that one thing. But dang, I have to learn how. I have to find His value...He has to be my prize - I have to know that I am His as well.
Can I just say one last thing. I am relieved at His goodness, all that is necessary is that I sit at His feet? You know, that one thing alone sets Him so far apart from every other god. That He cares to tell me stories, to hear my dreams, to catch my tears, to make me laugh, to give me love...truly there is no one like Him.
I leave you with this, "...for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything." 1 John 3:20
phew.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
You're My Inspiration!!!....la la la
It's a song "You're My Inspiration....."
I dont know who sings it...it was before my time quite frankly. But thats not the point.
I thought I would start doing an "Inspiration of the Month" kind of deal - I would say I tend to chew on an idea, topic, song, book, or something of the sort for around a month.
If I'm stuck in a book for a month or what not- then it'll be on here
If I listen to the same song - eight times a day...you may find it on here.
If someone said one sentence to me that I cant get outta my head... You could find it on here.
I feel like I'm starting to sound like Jeff Foxworthy "You might be a redneck..." and thats neither good nor bad, but not exactly what I was going for!
I am reading a great book and I've got a feeling, just maybe... you'll find it on here....or you might be a redneck.
I dont know who sings it...it was before my time quite frankly. But thats not the point.
I thought I would start doing an "Inspiration of the Month" kind of deal - I would say I tend to chew on an idea, topic, song, book, or something of the sort for around a month.
If I'm stuck in a book for a month or what not- then it'll be on here
If I listen to the same song - eight times a day...you may find it on here.
If someone said one sentence to me that I cant get outta my head... You could find it on here.
I feel like I'm starting to sound like Jeff Foxworthy "You might be a redneck..." and thats neither good nor bad, but not exactly what I was going for!
I am reading a great book and I've got a feeling, just maybe... you'll find it on here....or you might be a redneck.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
More For My Sake.
Today at work I was thinking about things I love. And so I thought I would write them down...more for my sake than yours, but if you care to read then by all means-enjoy.
iLOVE:
Jesus
Unconditional Love
The Ocean
QUIET coffee shops
Back rubs
My car time
All things home interior
LAUGHING
A good book
Talking about that good book
My Family
A Good cup of coffee
Early mornings with the Word and worship
A solid conversation
A stirred heart
Deep thought
Road trips alone
Loud music
WATER
White noise
A good hug
Small fun shops
Portland
Purses&shoes
My Bed
Laughing with my mom
Perserverance
Mentors
Friends that turn to family
Shopping with my dad
Burning about Jesus
Discovering His love
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Let's Be Babies!
I came across a picture of my dad holding me when I baby. We were out on the ocean and he was showing me things and telling stories (not that I remember them, not that I even knew what he was talking about at the time) but when you see the picture...you'll see what I mean.
When I first saw this picture, my initial thought was "I wish I could go back there" but not as that baby. I wish I could go back there right now, in my twenty-two year old body and sit on a rock nearby-invisible. I would just want to be there in that moment with baby me and Dad. I would want to hear how he talked to little baby me, I would like to hear the things he pointed out, showing me the waves and the seals. I would like to hear the stories he told my baby ears on the ocean.
When I get off of the phone with my dad now days, I always think of how lucky I am. I know I was given the best dad that could have been made. Often girls think of God in the way they think of their dad... this can be an extremely unfortunate comparison. Even with the world's greatest dad, the comparison of him and God our Father is unjust. Still when I talk to my dad I hear short sentences of the passionate heart of God for me. Or when I feel homesick for my dad at twenty-two years of age I see then the lovesickness in myself for God.
The fact of the matter is, between my dad and God is there little comparison. Except when my dad calls me because he misses me and was thinking about me all day at work. Or when I call my dad and he pauses his favorite show (the Bachelor) to talk to me about my day. All the times I've called in a favor to my dad, needing money to make it through the month due to my ill choiced shopping- but still he comes through. So many times my dad reflects Jesus to me...I dont think he realizes it...but more often than not his love and affection for me draws my heart nearer God.
I am still the little girl on the ocean held in the arms of a Father- one who longs to show me the waves and point out the seals. Who whispers to me and bundles me tighter in the oceans mist. I'm not a baby anymore in this physical body. But still my heart yearns to be small and near my Dad. Because regardless of what kind of father we have on earth- there is a Father of mercy and kindness in heaven that even the world's best dad can only palely reflect. This God who created all things, who knows the inner workings of our wicked hearts, who knows the terrible choice we will make before we do, and is busy with a chaotic world- still wants to be the one we come to for a hug, to talk about our day with, who thinks about us all the time without ceasing, and wants to give us good gifts.
When I first saw this picture, my initial thought was "I wish I could go back there" but not as that baby. I wish I could go back there right now, in my twenty-two year old body and sit on a rock nearby-invisible. I would just want to be there in that moment with baby me and Dad. I would want to hear how he talked to little baby me, I would like to hear the things he pointed out, showing me the waves and the seals. I would like to hear the stories he told my baby ears on the ocean.
When I get off of the phone with my dad now days, I always think of how lucky I am. I know I was given the best dad that could have been made. Often girls think of God in the way they think of their dad... this can be an extremely unfortunate comparison. Even with the world's greatest dad, the comparison of him and God our Father is unjust. Still when I talk to my dad I hear short sentences of the passionate heart of God for me. Or when I feel homesick for my dad at twenty-two years of age I see then the lovesickness in myself for God.
The fact of the matter is, between my dad and God is there little comparison. Except when my dad calls me because he misses me and was thinking about me all day at work. Or when I call my dad and he pauses his favorite show (the Bachelor) to talk to me about my day. All the times I've called in a favor to my dad, needing money to make it through the month due to my ill choiced shopping- but still he comes through. So many times my dad reflects Jesus to me...I dont think he realizes it...but more often than not his love and affection for me draws my heart nearer God.
I am still the little girl on the ocean held in the arms of a Father- one who longs to show me the waves and point out the seals. Who whispers to me and bundles me tighter in the oceans mist. I'm not a baby anymore in this physical body. But still my heart yearns to be small and near my Dad. Because regardless of what kind of father we have on earth- there is a Father of mercy and kindness in heaven that even the world's best dad can only palely reflect. This God who created all things, who knows the inner workings of our wicked hearts, who knows the terrible choice we will make before we do, and is busy with a chaotic world- still wants to be the one we come to for a hug, to talk about our day with, who thinks about us all the time without ceasing, and wants to give us good gifts.
Take us back to the ocean Lord.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Let's See How This Goes
I'm not entirely sure I know what I'm doing here.
Wait. I should introduce myself...Hello : ) my name is Ashley. I am young and I know little yet feel much- and why I have decided to blog is beyond me. While I do find myself fond of a few blogs, I am prone to love those with something to "offer" pictures, some DIY projects, interior design, beautiful photography or poetry. I cannot offer any of the above mentioned things. Wait don't leave yet! I named this blog INSPIREme- because thats what I intend on sharing.
That which inspires...me!
I hope it does the same for you. I mean thats what we read these for right? To learn to cook a new meal, how to refurbish and then distress that yard sale desk you purchased, to get lost in the romance of photography, or the beauty of words, to be stirred, compelled, INSPIRED! Maybe on a good day-on this blog... that will happen for the both of us! 
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
